Except that Java has the tools

It's fine to say that other JVM languages have closures (or whatever), but those other languages don't have tools like Java. Is it a sin to ask for an open source language with good tools and good performance that's actually a good language, too? Maybe some day. It doesn't have to be Java, but no one is in that sweet spot right now. And for some folks, getting the right features in Java seems the shortest path.